We have been married now for 6 months and 1 day, and I'm pretty sure I've learned more about life in these past months than I did in the rest of my entire life combined. I think that before I got married, and life completely changed (in an amazing way), I had a pretty narrow view of the world and how it worked, and ultimately of God and how he works. I suppose you could say I had a "textbook" view. You know when you go to school to learn to do something, and then when you get in the real world to actually do it it's nothing like the textbooks describe it as? You have to pretty much relearn everything because unfortunately, what's best in theory is rarely what's best in practice. This is how I was with Christianity. I "knew" how everything was supposed to work. I "knew" how the world was. I "knew" what was right and what was wrong and "knew" which people were good and which were bad. I "knew" a lot of things...then I entered the real world! Suddenly, everything wasn't so black and white. Suddenly, reading my bible and putting a smile on my face didn't make bad things go away. I was at a crossroads to say the least.
This is where my life with Anna comes in. She taught me to be real. I guess I always thought I was pretty real or open or whatever you would call it. I found out quickly that I often was not, and that my "textbook Christianity" didn't answer some very challenging questions about life. Thus, we both began this searching process. Searching for what really matters. Searching for the thing that makes Christianity really make sense.
While we are still on this path, and hopefully will be for the rest of our lives, we stumbled upon something that changed both of our views on life completely. It was so simple, yet I know I had missed it for almost my entire life. The answer is Love. I know I sound like a cheesy romance novel or a Bohemian, but Love really is the answer. This realization drastically changed the way I thought about everything!
So here's what I realized: I have underestimated and undervalued the love shown in and by Christ for pretty much the entirety of my life. This Love is HUGE, and I somehow just missed it. That God in his sovereignty, in his perfection, in his ultimate glory would come here to dwell as a man and die the brutal death of a criminal, so that I would not have to face my own punishment that I rightly deserved! How could I have ever missed the gravity of it! It's unbelievably amazing and I treated it like a second rate birthday present. He "made himself nothing" (Phil. 2) that we would have life! We are his adopted sons and daughters and therefore heirs to his Kingdom for eternity (Gal. 4). All because of His Love and for His Glory! I am resolved never to "get over" this.
When I say resolved I mean actively. Not that I am successful every day or even every week, but I am actively resolved to live my life in light of this unthinkable revelation of God's love. First I had to find out what this meant. How should I live in response? I found this answer in John 13:34-35: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." So there it is. If I am actively resolved never to "get over" the compelling love of Christ then I am to love others as He has loved me! This is obviously no small task, but I desire it to be the purpose behind my every action. I know I have screwed it up. I know I will continue to do so. Regardless, this is it. This is the answer.
So, Anna and I began to pray for direction and that we would live lives that reflect this incredibly simple and incredibly difficult course of action: to love one another. As she mentioned in her last post, we had thrown adoption around as an idea, but never considered anything seriously. I mean after all, we have only been married 6 months right? However, a couple of weeks ago when she was in Alabama for a funeral, she realized that it didn't feel like just an option. It felt more like a passion. As she shared this with me, I began to get on board. We started doing some research and were overwhelmed by the huge need for adoption worldwide. There are more than 140 million orphans in the world! That seemed crazy to us! So it's here that everything comes together.
At an adoption meeting at Second Baptist we were talking with friends beforehand, and one said something that cemented this in our hearts and made an unbelievable connection. She said that one of the most amazing things about adopting her son from Ethiopia was that it gave her a completely new and full idea of the kind of love God showed to us when he adopted us as his children. Everything came together! We were searching for how we would live our lives to reflect this unbelievable love and it shows up right in front of our faces! I don't think anything has ever been so clear! So here it is. This whole journey has led us to Springfield, MO where we feel God has called us to adopt a child, specifically from Russia. We aren't sure when, or with what money, or what the process really even looks like. We know, though, that God has specifically called us to do this as a reflection of His unthinkable love for us. It gives me chills thinking about it.
The actual title "Because of Your Love" is actually the title of a song by Phil Wickham. It pretty much hits the nail on the head and every time I hear it I remember that revelation. Here are the lyrics:
Jesus You endured my pain, Savior You bore all my shame
all because of Your love
Maker of the universe, broken for the sins of the earth
all because of Your love, all because of Your love
because of Your cross, my debt is paid
because of Your blood my sins are washed away
now all of my life, I freely give
because of Your love, because of Your love I live
innocent and holy King, died to set the captive free
all because of Your love
Lord You gave Your life for me, so I will live my life for You
all because of Your love, all because of Your love
You did it for me, You did it for love
it's Your victory, Jesus You are enough
Couldn't have said it better myself in a million years. So this is why we live. This is why we want to adopt. Because of Your Love.
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